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I hate myself for being the way i am

I am a pessimist
A freaking pessimist

I see the worst in someone first before anything else
I often imagine every possible worst case scenario that could happen
I try to avoid any means of making any contact with people from outside my comfort zone

I live in a freaking shell !!!

I panic when i have to something alone outside my bubble
I don't know why but i do and i hate it
Like now i have to find someone to interview regarding an assignment of mine and i'm having a hard time deciding how the hell am i gonna get through it


There are other stuffs with i'm not ready to talk about here cuz who knows who's reading these crappy unedited crap i type.

(Seriously is there anyone really reading this blog??)
(Or is Blogger just crapping about that statistic thingy thing)

I realize my blog isn't something to be proud of anymore after last Saturday's class
My new lecturer of this semester said that people who have blogs are not discipline in their writing because they don't have an editor to edit their work. Blogs are where people type about their emotions, their dates, their party, their dog, their cat and even their annoying little brother. Bloggers just type whatever they want and whenever they want without any restrains. It's all that lecturer's fault I'm feeling this way.

Seriously, Sadly and Damn Thankful

I'm not a fashionable person at all.
Seriously, sadly and damn thankful I'm not.

I mean...
How the hell can people cough up RM79.90 for a T-Shirt ???
Or...or...RM 129.90 for one plain formal shirt???

HOW ???

It's just a woman/man/gay guy's creative idea from the brain to paper to cloths !!!
Colorful cloths pieced together to make this stupid looking clothing !!
Put in the brand's name....
And finally smacking the price tag saying "NEW ARRIVAL - RM79.90" !!!

Call me stingy and cheapskate but the prices are like mad cow diseases in your purse & wallets.
This is why i don't like shopping !!


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That's was my ranting for the night...
All of a sudden i feel like changing the layout of my blog...
I'm worried about something but i can't seem put a finger on it...
My dogs are chewing some wires i don't know for what from underneath my car...
And I'm really worried about something but can't seem to know what it is !!!!!!!!!!!!

Strangers in Time

When i was in kindergarten, i don't remember keeping in touch with any of my friends. In fact i don't remember who were my friends because it was kindergarten. We were big toddlers who didn't give a shit about what we were doing. We play with whoever who wants to play, eat with whoever wants to eat and sit with whoever has an empty chair beside them.

Then when i was in primary school for six years, i still didn't bother to keep in touch with my friends. Although we wrote each other "Friends Forever" in those contact diaries. It's just words. 80% of my primary schoolmate went to the same high school as me. My primary and high school were next to each other. 

Then it was high school. This was when i started to appreciate my friends more because after high school we were gonna go our separate ways. I had a few groups of friends so i categorized them. Don't judge me for putting a tag on my friends ok!

There was the Main Gang, the Smart Gang, the Naughty Gang, the Weird Gang and the Quiet Gang. I seriously had these 'gangs'. My Main Gang was never permanent. I tended to switch to other gangs from time to time. I thought we were gonna stay in contact even after we graduate but distance and time kinda made us forget.

Now i spend more time with my collage friends than my old school friends. One is because we all have new friends we met in college/university. Two is because even if we meet up there is nothing to talk about other than the past. We become estrange from each other. I'm afraid i might loose contact with my university friends as well after we graduate and start working.

Sometimes i see an old friend when i'm outside. But some sort of instinct makes me wanna avoid that friend and pretend i didn't see him or her.