O' Have I Finally Found It

For the past three years I've been telling myself that I love to make videos.

I tell myself I'm gonna make a hit in the film industry.

I tell myself I'm gonna be freaking world wide famous *That's so cheesy !!!*

But reality hit me one day and i realized that making videos wasn't my real passion.

The reason why i thought i loved it was because every time when i had to make a video, i make it just to entertain the audience. That's it ! Nothing more ! It's just a hobby ! No deep fiery passion for it !

If you know me, you'd see that in every video I've made for my assignments, there's always a hint of humor in them. Unless the topic is straight forward enough to understand that adding humor will only destroy the whole original idea.

But nevertheless !! I came to conclude that i was in denial for what i was really passionate about and I'm as sure as hell it wasn't film making. What i really have passion for it this ! Words ! I wouldn't have started this blog if i didn't enjoy words. I've always been good in English essays *Don't mention my BM & Chinese*. And to think i used to suck up to my English teachers because of that without realizing it.

I was circling the drains for sometime thinking whether i was making the right choice in my life. I even resorted to seeking advice from a lecturer - which I NEVER do - who graduated from her studies not too long ago. I gave up waiting for my friends to give me a comforting answer or a solution. Not in her exact words, but i do recall her saying something like "Go for it if you feel the passion for it". I felt that i knew what to do after my talk with her. I'm just scared to take the plunge. What if it doesn't turnout good? What if i regret my decision? What if everyone else succeed in life and i fail?

*Why the hell am i such a pessimist ??*

She said she knew i was a good writer. A freelance writer from TheStar also said i have what it takes to be a writer. Yea i was lucky enough to cross paths with this cool person during one of my MWS assignments. I send her a very random and informal email asking if i could conduct an email interview with her. She was so impressed by my email and asked if she could use it in one of her articles. This is the first time i was taken seriously for anything i did.

Thank Alexandra.

I guess the thought of me thinking that i had a passion for films wasn't completely wrong. I would say it was misdirected. Maybe what i wanted to do was not to direct it but to write for it. I should really start to learn and use more deep meaningful words.